- Q: What does a vampire fear most?
A: Tooth decay.
- Q: Where did the vampire open his savings account?
A: At a blood bank.
- Q: What does a baby bat say before going to bed?
A: Turn on the dark. I'm afraid of the light.
- Q: What is Transylvania?
A: Dracula's terror-tory.
- Q: Where does Dracula water ski?
A: On Lake Erie.
- Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
A: By blood vessels.
- Q: Which part of a restaurant don't vampires go in?
A: The non-Suckers section.
- Q: What kind of ship does Dracula own
A: Blood vessel.
- Q: Why doesn't anyone like Count Dracula?
A: He's a pain in the neck.
- Q: What do you call Count Dracula's cookout?
A: Vampire camfire.
- Q: What does Dracula say when introduced to someone?
A: "Hello, pleased to eat you.
- Q: How do vampires drive around?
A: In their bloodmobiles.
- Q: What is Dracula's position in baseball?
A: Batboy.
- Q: Who is the Dracula's super hero girl friend?
A: Bat Ghoul.
- Q: What is the largest building in Transylvania?
A: The Vampire State Building.
- Q: Why did Dracula go to jail?
A: Because he robbed the blood bank.
- Q: What's a vampire's favorite feast?
A: Fangsgiving Day dinner.
- Q: Why did the vampire's lunch give him heartburn?
A: It was a stake sandwich.
- Q: What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A: A blood hound.
- Q: What do you get if you cross a vampire & a computer?
A: A know-it-all, that's really a pain in the neck.
- Q: Which building does Dracula visit in New York?
A: The Vampire State Building.
- Q: Who is a vampire likey to fall in love with?
A: The girl necks door.
- Q: What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It's a pain in the neck.
- Q: How can you tell if a vampire has been in a bakery?
A: The jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
- Q: How does a girl vampire flirt?
A: She bats her eyes.
- Q: Was Dracula ever married?
A: No he's a bat-chelor.
- Q: Where does Dracula keep his valuables?
A: In a blood bank.
- Q: What did the kid vampire say to his mommy at night?
A: "Mommy, turn off the switch. I'm afraid of the light.
- Q: What is worst than a hungry vampire?
A: A thirsty vampire.
- Q: What do you give a vampire with a cold?
A: Coffin Drops.
- Q: What does a weight-conscious vampire drink?
A: Blood Light.
- Q: What is the favorite test that vampires love to take?
A: A blood test.
- Q: What is a vampire's favorite game?
A: Bat-miton.
- Q: What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A: A neck-tarine.
- Q: Why does Dracula consider himself a good artist?
A: Because he likes to draw blood.
- Q: Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
A: He had bat breath.
- Q: What is the best way to talk to Count Dracula.
A: Long distance.
- Q: Why didn't Dracula get married?
A: He never met a nice Ghoul.
- Q: What is Count Dracula's favourite snack?
A: A fang-furter.
- Q: What is red, sweet and bites people?
A: A jampire.
- Q: What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A: A blood hound.
- Q: What was the Californian vampire hippy like?
A: He was ghoul man, real ghoul.
- Q: What's a vampire's favourite sport?
A: Bat-minton.
- Q: What happened to the mad vampire?
A: He went a little batty.
- Q: What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day?
A: A coffin break.
- Q: How does a vampire like his food served?
A: In bite sized pieces.
- Q: Why did the vampire take up acting?
A: It was in his blood.
- Q: Who plays centre for the vampire football team?
A: The ghoulscorer.
- Q: What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?
A: I don't know but it would slow him down.
- Q: Which vampire ate the three bears porridge?
A: Ghouldilocks.
- Q: What's a vampire's favourite drink?
A: A bloody mary.
- Q: What's a vampire's favourite dance?
A: The fangdango.
- Q: Which vampire tried to eat James Bond?
A: Ghoul-finger.
- Q: Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food?
A: He wanted something to get his teeth into.
- Q: What happened at the vampires race?
A: It finished neck and neck.
- Q: Where did vampires go to first in America?
A: New Fang-land.
- Q: What happened at the vampires reunion?
A: All the blood relations went.
- Q: What do you get if you cross Dracula and Al Capone?
A: A fangster.
- Q: Why did Dracula go to the dentist?
A: He had fang decay.
- Q: What did the vampire say to the wolfman?
A: You look like your going to the dogs.
- Q: What is the American national day for vampires?
A: Fangsgiving day.
- Q: To learn more about Dracula what do you have to do?
A: Join his fang club.
- Q: Why are vampire families so close?
A: Because blood is thicker than water.
- Q: What flavour ice cream is Dracula's favourite?
A: Veinilla.
- Q: Why do vampires like school dinners?
A: Because they know they won't get stake.
- Q: What's a vampire's favourite animal?
A: A giraffe.
- Q: Why was the young vampire a failure?
A: He fainted at the sight of blood.
- Q: What happened to the vampire who ate sheep?
A: He felt baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.
- Q: What's Dracula's favourite coffee?
A: Decoffinated.
- Q: What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?
A: A bite in shining armour.
- Q: What does a vampire bath in?
A: A bat tub.
- Q: What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold?
A: Coffin medicine.
- Q: What does the postman deliver to vampires?
A: Fang mail.
- Q: What's Dracula's favourite soup?
A: Scream of tomato.
- Q: What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower?
A: A bat mat.
- Q: What do romantic vampires do?
A: Neck.
- Q: What does a vampire say to the mirror?
A: Terror, terror on the wall....
- Q: What is a vampire's favourite film character?
A: Batman.
- Q: Why do people hate being bitten by vampires?
A: Because it's a drain in the neck.
- Q: Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?
A: He has a bat temper.
- Q: Why did Dracula go to the dentist?
A: He had a fang-ache.
- Q: Why are vampires like false teeth?
A: They all come out at night.
- Q: Why does Dracula wear patent leather shoes?
A: Sandals don't look good with his tuxedo.
- Q: Why won't vampires drink chicken blood?
A: Because its fowl tasting.
- Q: What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
A: Bloodhounds.
- Q: When Dracula failed his math test the teacher said?
A: Can't you count Dracula.
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