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| Kathleen |
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My name is Kathleen, and I had menengino encephalitis. I live in Rhode Island. I got the virus in
1999, when I was 18. I was attending a school-sponsored concert at Sacred Heart University, CT,
when it all began. It was a Friday night, and my friends and I were all excited about a Mighty Mighty
Bostones concert that my school was having. During the concert we were dancing and having a
good time, until the crowd started to get more violent. People were moshing and throwing each
other around, even though there was campus security and signs that said "NO MOSHING". After
being thrown into the mosh pit, I was trying to make my way out, when someone who was crowd
surfing fell on my head. At the time I only had a slight headache, so I thought nothing of it. After
that night, I only have fuzzy memories.
The week after my hit on the head, I remember being really sick, like I had the flu. I don't remember
studying for midterms or even writing a midterm paper, but I know that they got done because
I handed them in. The only thing that I can clearly remember was the day that truly set the ball
rolling with my illness. My friend from home was coming to visit me, for a few days before Easter
break started. I remember going to the train station to pick her up, but I remember acting differently than I normally would. I can't describe how, but I could sense a change. That was also the day that I was going to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. My friend and I went to my boyfriend's lacrosse game, where I would meet his parents and go out to eat afterward. I remember bringing a bottle of water with me, because I was so, so thirsty. .
As the game went on, things started to get blurred, my hearing was going, and I was still wicked
thirsty. To my amazement, my friend commented on how I was acting different. After the game, my
friend stayed at school, while I went to eat with my boyfriend. I didn't talk the entire time we were
at the restaurant. All I did was drink and drink. Everything around me was getting more blurry than
before, and I was beginning to feel light headed. On the way home, I remember looking out the
window of the car, when I felt my body start to tingle. In my mind I was saying "Don't let this happen
to me now", even though I had no idea what was happening. Everything went black and the last
thing I heard was a shout of " she's having a seizure!" When I opened my eyes, I was in the back of
an ambulance, not knowing what had happened. At the hospital I don't remember my friends being
there, only the screams of a man somewhere in the ER.
After being released from the hospital, I went back to school. There was only three days left until break, so I thought that I could live through it. But my friends called my Dad and he came to pick me up the next day. That I can remember, I didn't say a thing that whole 2 hours home. Although I am sure that I must have said something because I was pretty open about my feelings then. But that would be my last memory, for almost five months.
Although I could communicate with others, there was a switch inside that was turned off, because I have no remembrance of almost half a year. Anything that I know about my time in the hospital, in a coma, I know through my parents and relatives that came to see me. I can't say when I woke up from the coma. Because there was a period of time that I was functioning, but I can't recall that time.
The middle of August was the first that I remember. I hated myself so much. My hair was greasy
and uneven, from the brain biopsy. I had a scar on my throat, and still had to be fed with a feeding
tube. But what I hated the most was that I was like an outsider, someone who didn't belong.
So many things had happened while I was "gone", I couldn't recognize my own family, and worst of
all, I had to start everything all over again. It was like being reborn into an adult. I had to learn how
to talk, write, walk, eat, bath, I couldn't even remember how to tie my shoes. I would get so
frustrated because I had turned 19, but acted like a 5 year old. Learning simple math, like adding
and subtracting was especially hard! Even though I was studying Statistics before I got sick, basic math was virtually impossible for me. Everything that was so easy before was now a huge challenge.
I was released from the hospital, five months after I was first admitted. At home things weren't any
easier. I had to be watched 24 hours a day and could never be left alone. I was taking Dilantin,
Paxil, and another drug. I couldn't drive, and worst off I couldn't go back to school. It was more
difficult to watch my friends all move on with their lives, and live like I wanted to, than it was to
relearn everything.
I have lost so many friends that I went to school with. But the person that I lost that I miss the most,
is my old self. Being sick changed my life entirely. Even though I have started school again and am
getting back to health, there is something that is missing, that will always be missing. Not just the
things that I missed while in a coma, but also the person that I once was.
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Kathleen
Rhode Island, U.S.A.
Posted: January 14, 2001 |
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